 |
 |
 |
           |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
 |
Loving Every Phenomenal Part of You
Have you ever wished yourself away? I am not referring to leaving your precious life on this Earth; but rather, just wished you weren't a certain way or did not have some particular qualities and mannerisms that were so apparent to you. I know I have. In the past, I've had a very difficult time when others would point out my weaknesses to me, either constructively or not-so tactfully. I would think, " Wow, not only do I think these are big problems I have, but now everyone else sees them as well." I would hope and pray that these parts of my personality would disappear into the deep character trait abyss. I would pretend to myself they weren't present or I would try my hardest to cover them up. I spent a lot of time and energy on hiding these areas that I wanted so desperately to vanish. A big first step in learning to love oneself and in self-forgiveness is accepting every part of you as the unique person that you are. All of your so-labeled liabilities can be tweaked into assets, but they must first be accepted. Otherwise, you are pushing against the grain and not being authentic to your true self. Let me give you an example of what I am talking about. In all of my past serious relationships, I have loved very passionately- so much so, that I've depended on the other person in the relationship for my happiness (what is commonly referred to as co-dependence). My moods depended on their moods, their well-being, or were correlated to the way they were treating me at the time. One can argue that this is not really love. I feel it was love, but with a very important component missing-that passionate love for myself? With it, the "dysfunctional" one-sided relationships may have flourished or an even more likely scenario~ I would have probably not attracted them in the first place (but that's a topic for another day). Once I accepted this as a part of my unique persona I was able to direct it in a more healthy manner-passionate love for my child, my work, my family, my faith, and most importantly, myself. You may find your dark sides in anger, co-dependence, low self-esteem or a combination of these or other perhaps not so desirable traits. We are missing a part of us by wishing these traits weren't ours and not owning up to every inch of them. If we are only loving a part of ourselves or of others, we are not fully engaged in the experience of love. You know that feeling of being in a relationship where the other person may "kind of like you" or you "kind of like them". It doesn't flourish, and neither party is truly happy. It has been said by finding an area in which you have found the most struggles, therein lies your true purpose. These are gifts for us to embrace; lessons are presented for us to learn. Think of one of your greatest challenges-has that not shaped who you are today? When you are in the midst of it, it can be difficult; but when you step back, you see the beauty of it all. Accept your yin and your yang. Accept your dark and your light. Accept your failures and your successes. I am not suggesting that we use this as an excuse to not participate in personal development or self-care, or to neglect to learn those lessons that are often presented to us throughout our lives. Instead I am suggesting that we embrace our unique selves and know that we are not on this Earth to take up space but rather to fulfill a beautiful life of our dreams in our own special way~ every valuable bit of us. "If you can't accept yourself, then certainly no one else will." ~Author Unknown Copyright 2005~Deborah Shipley is a registered yoga teacher, publisher of a free monthly e-zine on self-esteem, and an e-book author. This article may be distributed provided the author's information is included in its entirety. http://www.tipsforinterpersonalskills.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Coaching - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How to Solve Disputes with the Helicopter Talk Technique Do you ever find that when a friend asks for your opinion on a problem it is a lot easier for you to see a solution than it is for your friend?And do you also find that sometimes you feel completely stuck when it comes to your own problems?The same applies to disputes, relationship issues and disagreements.When you are part of the problem it can be very difficult to see a solution. How to Get More Business Without Even Trying Why are you in business? Hopefully you enjoy what you do, however is it because you want to make money so that you can have, be and do more in your life?Who pays you? Your clients do and never forget that. Unfortunately many people do. What is the Success Lesson in this Story? One of my clients gave me permission to tell you his story.Jim called me 9 months ago and asked for help. What in the World is Life Coaching? In my speaking engagements I have often compared coaching today to psychotherapy in the 1920s. The level of public understanding of coaching, outside of people in a certain socio-demographic category, is still in its infancy. Permission To Have FUN ? Have you been working long hours? ? Have you been managing 10 (or more) tasks at once? ? Are you combining several different personal and professional roles?99% of my clients are experts at managing lifestyles similar to those above and this issue is dedicated to all of you.Your reward for managing your lives so well is permission to have some FUN. Being an Emotional Victim None of us like to think of ourselves as victims. The term "victim" brings to mind a pathetic image of a person who is powerless. 3 Easy Steps to Low Stress Communication Life is all about choices. And so is the way you communicate. Tips for Writing Great Coaching E-Books Never understimate the power of a well-written word. Tens of thousands of readers of coaching ebooks have had their lives changed for the better by a well written ebook. Its Not What You Think My work in organizations involves dropping habitual ways of perceiving in order to contact a fresh and subtle perceiving "under the surface" of what is going on. That deeper sense of perceiving allows the emergence of what I call the Engaging Leader, or the genuine expression of myself and the collective. Make Progress Now: Take the Hand Brakes Off Your Life! Do you find yourself striving upward in life yet making little or no progress?Are you high on activity but low on achievement?Very clearly, it's time to stop, look and listen. You're obviously not doing something right. Passport to Passion Passion is a feeling of excitement and intensity. The energy of passion fuels a fulfilled life, and supports the growth and development of our personal purpose and potential. Theres Gold in that Silence Can you recall a time where you utilized silence to make a point? If you can consciously recall, you probably know your silence made more than just a point; it made an exclamation point .. Personal Power All of us would love to have personal power - the power to manifest our dreams, the power to remain calm and loving in the face of fear, the power to stay centered in ourselves in the face of attack.Our society often confuses personal power - "power within" - with "power over," which is about controlling others. Success at Work : People Skills : Complaining Do you know an individual at work who is a chronic complainer? Are YOU a chronic complainer? People don't like complainers. Listening to a chronic complainer gets people depressed. Success Coaching - What Bill Gates and You Should Have In Common He was just a teenager, but he was already displaying the powerful habits that would one day make him a billionaire.I had to dart down to Atlanta on Monday for a business meeting with a partner of mine and grabbed a new book to read on the plane. Do You Really Need A Home Business Mentor? Having a mentor can mean the difference between success and failure if you want to have a successful Internet home business.Many of you have dreamed of owning your own Internet business, and have probably been involved in countless opportunities, and succeeded at none. How to Control Your Anger: Retreat and Think Things Over How to Control Your Anger: Retreat and Think Things OverJim and Mary Jones loved each other deeply, but often went into horrific verbal battles over any number of issues. They would argue and yell for hours, often into the night, leaving both of them exhausted, emotionally disconnected, hurt and resentful toward each other. Corporate Coaching - Why Coach? C(5)+ED Is it possible to make a strong "business case for corporate coaching?" Why is coaching vital to organizations? Why should leaders invest time developing their coaching skills? These are tough, important questions that organizations should consider before implementing coaching.The need for corporate coaching certainly depends on the situation. So Why Are They Really Here? It does make you wonder sometimes, doesn't it? You know the folks I'm talking about. The ones who seem to be wandering around in the middle of a fog bank. The Incredible Rightness of Being An Age-Old QuestionSearching for more meaning in our lives has been an age-old preoccupation for us humans. Why am I here? What am I meant to do? What's the point of it all? And, most importantly in the modern-day world, what is it that will make me happy?Dissatisfaction, or "Gimme More!"It is human nature that when we feel dissatisfied with something - be it our jobs, our homes, our relationships, or even our lives in general - we feel there is something missing.
|
 |