 |
 |
 |
           |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
 |
Get the Confidence to Be Your Best
A confidence crisis is looming with a recent study showing that 3 out of 4 of us would love to be more confident but don't know how to go about it. The sheer quantity of choices and opportunities for thirtysomethings is greater than ever before and for the people polled, seeing through these opportunities and finding what's right for them can seem like an impossible task. The research (conducted by website www.lifecoachforyou.com) polled over four hundred thirtysomethings in the UK and USA, and also found that a massive nine out of ten people (88%) in their thirties openly acknowledge that they're not living up to their full potential, showing that even though people want more for themselves they lack the confidence to get it. According to thirtysomething confidence expert Steve Errey, "Confidence is the number one thing that holds people back, and it can be a real block when we're looking to make changes." says Errey, "If you have a lack of confidence it runs through all parts of your life, from relationships to career to social life. A boost in confidence gives us the space to explore what works for us, and makes it okay for us to go out and try different things." The survey showed that thirtysomethings rate themselves as 66% confident on average, and most would like to be in the 90-100% confident range. "That lack of confidence and the gap between where people find themselves today and where they want to be makes ripe ground for the quarter-life crisis," adds Errey. "It's a huge and growing problem that's now a reality for many people, but it doesn't have to be that way." "I can't believe the change in myself," says Sarah, a thirtysomething based in London who went through a coaching programme with Steve to boost her confidence. "I feel so comfortable in my own skin now, and don't talk down to myself anymore - something I used to do all the time. I feel okay in situations that used to make me feel awful or panicky, and so many things in my life have just fallen into place." Steve says there are three keys to getting more confidence. "First of all, you need to recognise that you're your own worst critic, and notice how much of each day you spend giving yourself a hard time or talking yourself out of things. In coaching we call that negative voice the Gremlin, and it has a huge part to play in keeping you where you are and will use every trick in the book to stop you from taking chances. "You wouldn't put up with your best friend talking to you the way your Gremlin does, so don't put up with your Gremlin talking to you like that. When you know when the Gremlin is talking to you you're able to develop strategies to deal with it. With that voice gone you can replace it with a more positive one, a voice that reminds you of what you want and tells you that you can do it." says Errey. The survey supports this and shows that 68% of those polled regularly hear "the Gremlin" with just 4% never hearing that voice. "When I figured out that most of what I told myself was coming from the Gremlin there was no holding me back," says Sarah of her experience, "that voice still pipes up from time to time but I know where it's coming from and know how to put it in its place. That was a huge realisation for me." "The second thing is to get to know your personal values," says Errey. "A value is something that's ten thousand feet down inside you, right at the core of who you are. A value is something in yourself, in others or in the world that's most important to you, and could include things like respect, progress, family, achievement or freedom. "When you know your values you can start making choices based on them and get your life aligned around them. You know those times when you've felt amazing or powerful or buzzing? Those are the times when some of your values are being honoured, and you can get more of that by living according to them." With the survey showing that nearly nine out of ten thirtysomethings feel they aren't living up to their potential, Steve believes that values are one of the biggest missing pieces of the puzzle. "Living according to your values is one of the simplest changes someone can make, and the great thing is that it feels amazing when you do it. All you're doing is letting the fundamental chunks of yourself live in the real world - so of course that's going to feel great." Sarah agrees, "Learning my values was really important. I identified them at the start and they still hold true six months later. Knowing them makes me feel 'okay' about all kinds of different situations." The final key to confidence is perhaps the hardest - taking action. "Life rewards action," says Errey, "and everything you do takes you one step closer to what you want." The poll showed that three out of ten of people always put things off and a further four out of ten tend to put things off on a regular basis. "When I figure out what I want or what I need to do I go ahead and do it now," continues Sarah, "Just doing something makes me feel good, and if I hit the procrastination stage I know how to handle it." "Do at least one thing every day towards what you want" adds Errey, "you'll be amazed at how your confidence builds and how quickly things can fall into place." About the Author
MORE RESOURCES:
Positive-Attitude - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Being Assertive Many people find it extremely difficult to be assertive, whether it is in the work place, or in their personal lives. All too often, there is confusion between being assertive and being aggressive. Sexual Abuse. A Story From A Survivor. Uncle Liam was very kind to me again. He gave me more candies when I went to his grocery shop that morning. Im Loving Me... Right Where I Am I heard these words from a client who had been struggling for weeks to find peace in her estranged relationship with her daughter. Because she 'new better' she kept telling herself that her feelings were wrong and to shape up and get over it. Cleaned Up or Cleaned Out? I need your help. I did a good deed recently, but I was gripped by second thoughts. Mastering Mindfulness: A Thinkers Ode to Meditation I'm lucky.When I was fifteen, I was the sole survivor in one of those horrific car accidents involving a bunch of teens, lots of alcohol, and late-night fast driving. How to Begin to Overcome Shyness The one thing that is absolutely vital to overcoming shyness is DESIRE. You must want to, badly. You Must Change the 148,000 Nos In Your Subconscious to Yes What does it take to succeed? How can you move forward - no, take a quantum leap forward - in your achievements, in realizing your dreams?According to some research, a person who grows up in an average, reasonably positive home is told "no" or told what he or she cannot do over 148,000 times before they hit their 18th birthday! The number of "yes'" or encouragement on what they can do is far smaller than the "no's", "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" (which are all "no's").So what?Well, think about it. Affirmations for Success + Music = Pow! Music penetrates our mental barriers and influences the deepest areas of our mind. The right music, combined with the right affirmations for success, can have a huge effect on our receptivity. Thinking Your Way To Success: Materializing Your Goals Through The Power of Thought THOUGHTS are powerful. The power of THOUGHTS cannot be underestimated. Need A Miracle? Build One, Everyday! Henry Ford, after he had achieved great success, was the subject of much public criticism. Many people thought that he was very lucky, some thought he was a genius, some thought he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, some thought that powerful friends and influential people were the "secret" of his great success. 3 Ways to Change Roadblocks into Valuable Tools Our initial reaction when hitting a setback or a "roadblock, whether it be during an important project or even just trying to finish a task, is usually one of frustration or the thoughts of "Why does this always happen to me?" or "why doesn't anything ever work for me?". Roadblocks can be valuable though. Positioned For Success - The Refined Art Of Taking A Chance ARE YOU IN.. How To Self Talk Your Way To Success? Dear Friends,All human beings have a unique ability right from birth, the ability to "think" and express his/her thoughts in the form of "speech", "written words" etc.. Accepting Change Well I've finally done it.. Thinking About Attitude Attitude, has a way of preening itself, often without awareness of the individual. A posture, a stance, a belief, attitude bestows identify upon us as naturally as air gives life. It Is All About Attitude! Why do we really need the experiences that we have to deal with in our day-to-day life? Does anyone know who can answer my question? Somehow, at heart I do know and understand the answer to this question. However, I have no discipline to do something about it in respect of applying the principle in dealing with my own life experiences. Heres Your Calm During The Storm Of Discouragement Have you ever known someone like this? "A person who knows how to start well, but finds it difficult to keep going"? A person whose successes are dependent on the quality of someone else's encouragement and motivation? Someone who consistently let's discouragement get the better of him? Ever found yourself like that? There's hope, read on.Don't Worry, Be Happy! &^%$%^Yeah right! How many times have you wished you could bit**-slap somebody for saying that at the moment you least needed it? I know I have a bunch. Really Scary Stuff With the probable exception of some basic instincts - or motivation toward self-preservation - we've just flat learned to be afraid of about all the rest of the stuff we're afraid of. I know, the word "about" is a cop-out but I'm using it because I'm not really sure where this next mega-fear comes from. Life Energy There is a growing appreciation of the impact of psychic factors on the causation and exacerbation of many physical illnesses. For instance such problems as irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis and even cancer have been felt to have such psychically based links. The Power Of AND Not Amen, just so we're clear on that.AND.
|
 |